Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate your needs, Feelings, opinions, and beliefs in an open & honest manner without violating the rights of others

It is about self confidence, which means having positive attitude towards yourself & others.

Being Assertive:

• Being assertive is focusing on your goal
• Being assertive is being self aware
• Being assertive is being true to yourself
• Being assertive is building self esteem
• Being assertive is nurturing you
• Showing respects to your rights & other rights

Human Assertive rights:

• Right to express sexuality
• Right to have needs and desires
• Right to have information
• Right to have goods & services which have been paid
• Rights to be independent and to be left alone
• Right to say No
• Right to be treated with respect.

How to say “NO” Assertively

Remember you are saying “No” to that particular request, not rejecting the person.

• If the request takes you unawares or you have not sufficient time to think. When asked you can always say, I will let you know “in order to give yourself time to think about what you want to say.
• Take responsibility for saying No. Do not blame the other person for asking you.
• Ask for more information if you need it in order to decide whether you want to say “yes” or “No

What’s keeping you from being assertive?

• Fear of change
• Refusal to admit their submissiveness
• Fear of ruining relationship if you speak to your mind
• Lack of confidence in your ability

Skills of Assertiveness:

• Disagreeing gracefully
• I statements
• Negative assertion
• Negative inquiry
• Fogging (Confusion)
• Broken record
• DESC (Describe, express, specify, clarity)

Benefits:

• Makes you feel better about yourself
• Minimizes any unpleasantness
• Helps to have better relations with others
• Reduces stress
• Propels your career.
• Vaults you in to leadership position
• Able to adapt to changing social & professional Environments
• Freedom from guilt conscience as you know that you are right

Test Your Assertiveness:

• Can you express negative feelings about other people and their behaviors without using abusive language?
• Are you able to exercise & express your strengths?
• Can you easily recognize & compliment other people achievements?
• Do you have the confidence to ask for what is right fully yours?
• Can you accept criticism without being defensive?
• Do you feel comfortable accepting compliments?

• Are you able to stand up for your rights?
• Are your able to refuse unreasonable request from friends, family or co-workers?
• Can you comfortably start & easy on a conversation with others?
• Do you ask for assistance when you need it?

 A “yes” response to the questions indicates an assertive approach.

Being more assertive can lead to a more rewarding life. It can improve upon existing aspects of your life (such as better relationships with friends and family) and completely change or introduce other aspects (such as personal or career opportunities.)